Melancholy;

I hate this feeling. Mostly because I can't even tell what it is. Am I lonely, nostalgic, or just unhappy for some reason? Maybe it's because I'm so sick today, but all my thoughts are either morbid or depressing. I think it's because I'm ill. When I'm sick, I forget what it feels like to be well. Because of that, it feels as though I'll be feeling sick like this forever. I spoke to one of my roommates and asked her some weird questions before telling her some weird stories. Although I know my fears aren't abnormal, I also know that they don't plague the majority of people. I'm jealous. Why do I have these fears and not others? I know I didn't have an unhappy childhood, but why are all of my oldest memories unpleasant? I don't understand. I don't understand what I'm feeling now or why. I can't believe it's past eight already, where has the day gone? I don't want to live here next year. I need a window in my room. I think that's more important than it initially seemed.